Sem Van Dijk is a not-so-hardworking Momma's Boy who enjoys light snacks and Kanye West songs. When he is kidnapped by a gang of vampires, Sem's life turns upside down in a matter of minutes. Cyr, the Grand Vampire of the Illusionists, enlists Sem into his questing business, tasking the frightened human with finding the roots and herbs necessary to make special medicines. The options are simple: cooperate or die. And with the angsty Anya and the oh-so horny Lily-Rose lingering close by, Sem has no choice but to play along Sem quickly discovers that life with a bunch of vampires isn't as deadly as it's cracked up to be, and he bonds fast with his fanged companions. He grows to love the XP-based income earning system that Cyr puts into place--especially as Lily-Rose shows him how to game the system--and he realizes that he stands to make more money with the Illusionists than he ever could at the office. But things aren't entirely safe either. Questing is serious business. As Sem investigates a crooked anime convention during the hunt for the Fliondeso Root, he learns that danger, lies, and suspicious spies hide every corner. Can Sem fully integrate within the vampires and survive the mission, or will his broken body be left on Cyr's doorstep with a worker's comp slip?