Author Description

Every human alive will experience loss. Loss is inevitable, universal and unavoidable. Loss can be by death of friends, loved ones and pets. Loss can be life transitions, job loss and moves from our home. It is never welcomed, so great is the pain it brings, along with the power to drain color and joy from our lives. However, grief is the psyche’s way of processing loss, which allows us to recover and reach the point of acceptance and of life moving forward, along new paths. In the United States and other Western cultures, grief is avoided and often viewed as a handicap and something to “get over” and return to “normal.” For many men, grief is considered an aberration or a weakness, thus feelings are locked inside, unexpressed and suppressed. In a sense, men are dying from not grieving, succumbing to the stigma of “weakness” that takes a huge psychological and physical toll on them. Much has been written about grief, but relatively little from the perspectives of men. Francis Waller wrote in his book, The Wild Edge of Sorrow, “when grief cannot be spoken, it falls into the shadow (repressed) and re-arises in us as symptoms. So many of us are depressed, anxious and lonely. We struggle with addictions and find ourselves moving at a breathless pace, trying to keep up with the machinery of culture.” Men feel deeply and just as deeply as women. Toughness and “strength” is not repressing feelings; rather, real masculinity INCLUDES feeling and expressing emotions in healthy ways. Men who feel are more available to partners, friends, family and work associates. Repressed emotion in men is killing us, either through the suffering of others due to "restricted" masculinity, or early onset “dis-eases,” such as uncontrolled rage, narcissistic behavior, borderline behavior, depression, anxiety, addiction, cardiovascular issues and even cancer. In this book, the perspectives of four courageous and vulnerable men, and two licensed psychotherapis