Iraq 11/8/2004, was when I lost it. I did not know I needed it. Something I thought I had until it was taken from me. I did not willingly give it up.Control.I needed it.I lost the ability to touch people, but I found the control I need in ropes. A million combinations and they were all mine. She held all the control and did not want it. She was brave, despite circumstances beyond any of us.She let me take the control from her, one knot at a time.