Gary Neville's choice of wedding venue, the use of underpants in goal celebrations, whether Lee Sharpe has it in him to go all the way on Celebrity Love Island - Giles Smith has never fought shy of hitting the big issues head on. Now, in this compilation of his most fearless and forthright public declarations, the Times sports columnist invites you to chew with him on football's biggest bullets. Meet the WAG who claims to have "heard of" Kent. Calculate the number of loft conversions you could buy with the money saved from a lifetime of following football. Get a tutorial from Craig Bellamy on how to hit someone with a golf club so that they stay hit. Contemplate Peter Crouch's future with the Harlem Globetrotters. And ask yourself where David Beckham is these days, how he's getting on, and why do we never hear about him.