Author Description

I got my heart broken today; again. It seems as though I tend to always end up in this situation. Remembering how much of myself I put into the relationship and trying to show the other person that I care for them makes me feel hollow from within. He used to tell me all the time that he just needed a while before he would be publicly comfortable with things. I was willing to give this time to him. I really liked him! His name is Antwan. I remember the first time I met him in person. I was so shy and nervous. Even till this day I would still get like that around him. There were times where he would say things that were like a red flag to me, but I couldn't help but to stay around him anyway. I remember how his temper used to be compared to how it was towards the end of things. It was really bad at first but overtime it got better or at least that just how it seemed. I don't know, sometimes I feel as if he was using me. Just to use me for whatever he would need until he found someone that was better than me. Maybe it was a girl... I could tell things weren't the same near the end. But I guess that by then we had both made up our minds about everything. I used to walk and go see him and he would walk and come see me. Sometimes I can still feel him touching me Sometimes I can still feel him hugging and kissing me. And when I do I feel heartbroken all over again.I remember the day he was stranded all the way-out D.C. somewhere; I stopped everything I was doing to go out there and bring him back home. He said that he didn't want me to talk or interact with him as if he was with me. "Act like you my cousin" he said to me. I didn't really mind before I left the house. But when I got out there to him, the way he was acting with the whole situation made me feel ashamed! Just to know that really, he was embarrassed of me; just as I hated that everyone else seemed to be!It may have seemed like nothing to him, but it really hurt my feelings. Of course, I didn't say anything. Whe