Author Description

[Scribe's note: This is my sister Darla's story, as dictated to me. I have tried to remain as faithful to her diction and voice as I can, while also making it intelligible and coherent. Darla has progressed considerably since the lobotomy, but she is still unable to write by herself. I have added notes, interpolations, and supporting documentation where necessary to clarify or explain, or to add my own experience if relevant. If you're wondering why it took so long for you to read this, I'd encourage you to keep your bratty thoughts to yourself. You're lucky I'm telling you the truth at all. This is the last thing I have to do for her, and I hope you're finally mature enough to handle it.]