Author Description

My body is weakened and stressed to endless extremes. You found a way to defile every part of me. My brain, my heart, my soul and even my womb. No one before you has ever accomplished doing all of that. All at once. The brokenness I feel isn't something that can be fixed with time, counseling, momentary pleasure or instant gratification events. It's a real feeling that makes me want to end my life. The sun stopped feeling warm. The air stopped filling my lungs smoothly. The earth stopped being enough. Everything turned and everything rotted. Everything died in my world. Is that not hell? Is hell not when something that once held strong meanings loses that meaning and becomes completely worthless? My whole world became completely worthless. I don't care to care about anything. I just obsessively think about her and how losing her was enough to drive me mad. But on top of that, how do I process what you've done and the part you played? All the pain you intentionally and wholeheartedly inflicted on me. Every word and every day you lacked empathy, you consciously threw me in a deeper and deeper hole. And for what? What was the crime that I committed that angered you so and turned you from a good man into an evil one? Losing you was hard enough, having to deal with your lack of compassion was hard enough, and mourning a child alone was hard enough. But going through all of these things all at once is more than any part of me can take. It is enough to break me down and stop the very being within from continuing living. I don't want this life; I don't want to be here. You found a way to break me in ways that I will never forget and will always be with me. Every hope and every potential love I once saw in my life disappeared like a burnt out flame. I hope you listen to these words and I hope you understand what I am saying. You have managed to kill me and all of me hates you.